


I've never fallen from quite this high

by bonimpfate



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, F/F, Lesbian Character, Loss of Parent(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Roommates, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:40:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25279402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonimpfate/pseuds/bonimpfate
Summary: After the passing of her father, Natalie decides to move into an apartment, and starts looking for people to room with. After several failed interviews, and a while of sleeping on her friends' couch, she meets Renee. Finally with a place to stay, Natalie is happy... but Renee proves to be more that meets the eye.
Relationships: Wattson | Natalie Paquette/Wraith | Renee Blasey
Comments: 17
Kudos: 167





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started working on this in May, set it down when I suffered a loss, and picked it back up again when I felt directionless. This fic is the most I've written in a long while, and while it isn't complete, I'm too excited to share it! I hope you enjoy!

Natalie was nervous, to say the least.

It had been a few months since her father's passing. She remembered crying that first day he was gone, then at the funeral, she couldn't. Everyone around her cried. Friends, family. She couldn't though. She sat under a table after it all, at the post-funeral reception; her father's friends, and her family – aunts, uncles, people she barely knew – had scoffed. Her friends who had come to support her, though, offered comfort. They knew her well enough, and she was grateful for them.

Her aunt had helped her sell the house. It was a nice little house, but it was too big, too empty now. She decided to look for a roommate in an apartment. That had been a task on its own. After initial interviews, she hadn't gotten anyone responding back. It was exhausting. She was tired of sleeping on Octavio and Ajay's couch.

Another day, and there was another interview. In the same building she had been staying at, thankfully. She asked Octavio about the person; she had recently moved in, according to him, but no one really knew much else.

As Natalie stood in front of the door to the stranger's apartment, she felt her back ache. She sighed, and crossed her fingers quickly, before knocking. A few nervous little knocks. After a moment of standing there, wondering if she was at the wrong door, it swung open.

The woman before her looked tired. Her hair was dark, tied up in a messy bun, and there were dark circles under her eyes. She was hunched for a moment, but straightened, crossing her arms a little. She was wearing a black bomber jacket, and a violet shirt under. 

"You're uh… Natalie, right?" the woman asked, blank expression barely changing. Natalie nodded in response.

"Yes, and you're Renee?"

The woman nodded, and moved to the side to let Natalie walk in. Natalie walked into the apartment, and started to look around; she had to admit, it looked a bit a mess. Not too bad, though; the apartment was pretty dark, though – the windows were mostly covered by curtains. Natalie blinked, and her gaze fell on Renee, who was now sitting on the couch. Natalie sat down next to her. She noted that Renee leaned a bit away from her.

This was off to a bad start. She really didn’t want to keep sleeping on that couch, though…

“Um,” Natalie started, clearing her throat awkwardly. She didn’t know how to talk to Renee… She was a complete stranger. Before she could continue, Renee spoke up.

"Alright. What do you do on the weekends?" Renee asked.

"Huh?"

"I'm interviewing you," Renee deadpanned. "I'm asking questions."

"Oh! Right, right," Natalie rubbed the back of her neck. What did she do? It wasn't a lot… "I either study or read, or my friends invite me to do stuff…"

"Do you smoke?"

"Not at all," Natalie replied.

"Okay," Renee mumbles. "How often are your friends going to be over?"

"Oh, I don't usually invite them, I generally get invited by them." Natalie hoped she was doing okay. She felt her palms start to sweat.

"You can pay rent, right?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Are you in a relationship?"

Natalie flushed, and shook her head frantically. "No, I'm not. Would it be an issue if I entered one?"

"I guess not," Renee replied. That was a relief. Not that she was going to be dating anytime soon…

"Do you cook?"

"I uh, not well," Natalie looked sheepish. "I get occupied with other things and… Well, I get distracted and I ruin what I cook, sometimes."

Renee's eyebrow quirked slightly. Natalie hoped that wasn't a bad sign. "Alright." She seemed to search a little more for something to ask. Natalie tilted her head. "What are you looking for from this?"

Natalie wasn't quite sure she understood. "You mean like… from living here?" She tapped her pointer fingers together. "I'm not really wanting to sleep on a couch–"

"I mean from a roommate," Renee interrupted. "What do you want from us living together."

"Oh!" Natalie put her hands on her lap, patting her thighs with her hands. "I'm not too sure. I don't want someone who is not willing to talk. But I'm not good at talking to people myself, so I understand if people are put off by that." She smiled. "I don't want to cross any boundaries, though."

Renee nodded, and stood up. Natalie stood as well. "Anything else I should know?"

"I work nights sometimes," Natalie said. Renee nodded slowly. "I- I'd try not to be loud when I go to work."

"Alright," Renee said, and walked to the door. Natalie followed her, chewing on a hangnail nervously. Renee seemed so aloof… so mysterious. Surely she didn't do anything wrong, but there were probably better people than her that applied–

"I think you're probably the best option for a roommate I've gotten," Renee told her. Natalie blinked a few times, then beamed. "So… I'll give you a call."

"Alright! Thank you!" Natalie said, walking out as Renee opened the door. When the door shut, she bounced a little. "Yes," she whisper-yelled, before quickly heading back to Octavio and Ajay's apartment, to share the news.

  
  
  


Natalie was happy to finally get a bed. After a couple more days sleeping on Renee's couch – much to her dismay – she  _ finally _ got to sleep in a bed. It had new sheets and a blanket and everything. She also got to sleep in it on Friday, which was nice – that meant she could sleep in. And she did. She hit snooze on the alarm on her phone about three times, before she finally decided to get up. She shuffled out of the room, rubbing the sleep from her eyes; Renee was in the kitchen, drinking coffee, eyes shut. The curtains were open a bit more than they had been, letting in some light.

"Good morning," Natalie greeted, and Renee jumped, looking at Natalie with wide eyes. "I didn't mean to startle you!" Natalie said quickly, nervously scratching the scar on her cheek – it was a nervous tic she had developed as a young child, she couldn't help it. "I'm sorry,"

Renee furrowed her brows, setting the mug down on the counter, approaching Natalie. "Okay, what happened to your face."

"Quoi –?"

"I didn't see that before now. What happened."

It registered, and Natalie laughed a little. "Oh! That's my scar, it's fine."

"Oh," Renee seemed to backpedal, taking a step back. "Of course, I just uh, I've never seen one like that."

Natalie hummed, starting to walk to the kitchen to get some coffee. "Not everyone gets struck by lightning, you know."

"Wh–" Renee turned to her. "What?" Natalie didn't respond, simply pouring coffee into her mug. "You're telling me you were struck by lightning?"

"Mhm,"

"Shit, alright. Damn."

"You could say it was a…  _ shocking _ experience." Natalie started to giggle. "Get it?"

"See that's something you should have warned me about.  _ Anything else _ , I had asked. You should have said,  _ I make puns _ ."

"I guess I was so ec _ static _ to meet you, that I forgot!"

"I'm starting to regret this decision."

"That  _ Hertz _ , Renee."

Renee grabbed her coffee again. "Yeah, yeah…" she mumbled. "It's too early for puns, Nat."

_ Nat _ . She called her Nat, not Natalie. She smiled as she put sugar and milk into her coffee. That seemed to be a good sign, right? "Then I can tell them in the afternoon, yes?"

Renee took a sip from her mug. "You get three a day," Renee commented. "Only three."

Natalie pouted. "That means I already told my puns today. No fair."

"I think it's completely fair," Renee responded. "You subjected me to puns at almost nine AM, in my home that I'm letting you stay in, and you never even warned me you made them." Renee took another drink of coffee.

Natalie hummed, drinking her own coffee. "I thought they were  _ very _ clever," Natalie murmured. She noticed Renee roll her eyes, but past the mug, she notices the barest hint of a smile. It might've not even been a smile, but Natalie wanted to believe it was. She hadn't seen Renee smile until then.

The smile went as quickly as she had seen it; Natalie was glad she had caught it. "That doesn't necessarily make them good."

"Ouch."

  
The two continued to drink their coffee, standing there in the kitchen, in a comfortable silence. Natalie liked the company Renee brought, and the banter they had shared was a  _ very _ good sign, at least, she  _ hoped _ it was… Maybe before she had assumed things would go poorly too quickly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited for this fic y'all don't even KNOW. Anyways here's chapter two !!

Renee was a bit of a mystery, Natalie quickly found.

Natalie, in the first few days, left for work and came home for her day shift, and Renee would be nowhere in sight. Then, after a while, Renee would walk into the apartment. Natalie had decided that asking where she had been would be too personal, too soon. She simply greeted her, and didn't get much in return.

After the morning they had their pun-filled banter, Renee seemed to warm up to Natalie. They didn't do a whole lot of talking after, but they spoke more than a one-sided greeting. Another week had passed since the initial chat, and Natalie was curious about Renee. She didn't know anything about Renee, other than how she took her coffee – black.

Natalie came out of her room in the late afternoon. She had showered early, gotten dressed, and started studying in her room. She became engrossed in the reading, the work; it was such a fascinating subject, one she was very passionate about – though everyone got hungry, or thirsty, or sore. So, she left in the late afternoon, and saw Renee sitting on the couch, on a laptop, mumbling quietly to herself –  _ Must be hard at work _ . Natalie walked past, towards the kitchen, and she heard, "I didn't even know you were here."

"Just studying," Natalie said, grabbing a glass and filling it in the sink. "I get so  _ focused _ sometimes. It's really fascinating work! I'm trying to be an electrical engineer. Like my papa. I've been studying electricity since I was a child." She paused. "It's a topic I really get…  _ charged _ about."

Renee hummed a little in acknowledgement. "I'm sure your dad's proud of you. Following his footsteps and all that."

"Er," Natalie took a few gulps of her water. "I'm sure he was."

"Shit. Oh my God."

"No it's fine!" Natalie explained quickly. "It's– you wouldn't have known anyways." Natalie finishes off her water quickly, and starts scavenging for food in the pantry.

Renee's brows furrowed, and she stared at Natalie for a bit. "I shouldn't have said that though. Sorry." She ran her fingers through her hair, and Natalie had a feeling she was extremely tired. She felt bad for the woman.

"It's okay, really!" Natalie reassured, smiling. "It's nice to talk about him." She pulled out a granola bar. "He was a smart man. And kind." Natalie unwrapped the granola bar, staring at it a bit. "He was always there for me. It's weird not having him around." Natalie blinks up at Renee, who was staring at her intently. "I suppose it's a little weird to talk about, though."

"No it's uh," Renee looked away. "I just uh… it must be good to have memories like that."

Natalie blinked. "Oh," she said quietly. "I'm sorry."

"Nah it's… fine."

This silence was a bit awkward. Natalie was just standing in the kitchen, eating a granola bar, while Renee started looking through her laptop again. Natalie could feel her heart sink, thinking about how she oh so desperately wished she was better with people. She debated just retreating back to her bedroom, going back to studying. The subject really was fascinating; it was something she enjoyed, and it made more sense than this mysterious woman.

But she didn't. "What are you looking at?" Natalie asked. Renee glanced up, quickly looking back down at the laptop.

"Um, just uh…" Renee cleared her throat. "Therapists. Previous one was no good."

"Oh, I used to go to therapy," Natalie said, thinking out loud; feeling her face heat at the blurted statement, she tilted her head forward. "I'm not sure if I can give too many recommendations though."

Renee gestured beside her on the couch. "Sit. I'll take anything I can get at this point." Natalie blinked, and sat beside Renee. "How long ago was it?"

"I started four years ago, and went about two years." Natalie poked her thighs with the tips of her fingers, staring at the digits. Renee hummed, and started typing something quickly, before looking back at Natalie. Her eyes were a stunning blue… but that's weird to think.

"Can you tell me the names so I can look into them?" Renee asked.

  
  
  


After that, the two seemed to get closer; Renee seemed to be a bit more open. Natalie hoped that she was helpful to Renee, in searching for help. It was odd, though; she still didn’t really know anything about her. Natalie, though, didn’t want to push too hard on becoming Renee’s friend; she had said she wouldn’t, after all.

Natalie woke up early the day after her late afternoon talk with Renee, and got ready, as usual. She took a shower, brushed her teeth, got dressed, and… Sat in her room. She sat in her room, and stared at a wall for a while. She wasn’t used to sitting still doing nothing for so long, but she wasn’t able to do much else. It wasn’t until she got a call that she snapped out of her weird funk; she sighed quietly and answered. “Hello?”

“Hey, Natalie!” came the voice of Octavio, and she heard Ajay yell something in the background. “You should come visit.”

“Oh!” Natalie looked at the time quickly; eleven thirty AM. “Oh, yeah, I could do that.” She stood up. “Anything in particular you want to do?”

“We’ll think of something!” Octavio replied. “You get ready,”

“I’m- I’m already ready,” Natalie said, “I’ll see you soon! Bye.” She hung up, then sighed; she exited her room, and looked around for Renee. She didn’t expect to see her, so it was a surprise when she saw her in the kitchen.

“You look like you’re ready for something,” Renee commented, raising a brow. "What's up?"

"I mean, I try to get ready every day," Natalie said, "but I was invited out by my friends. We aren't really sure what we're doing though." Renee hummed softly. Natalie noted she was in a tank top and sweatpants; pretty much what she had been wearing for a couple days. Is that a bad sign? Should she be worried?

"Ah," Renee hummed.

"You might know them! They live in the building. Ajay and Octavio,"

Renee nodded. "Yeah, I've seen them around."

Natalie clapped her hands together softly. "Maybe you'd like to come along?" The words came out before she really realized what she was saying. Renee gave her a bit of a look, and Natalie quickly found herself backpedaling. "You don't have to of course, I just thought, um, it'd be nice to um–"

"Relax," Renee said, smiling slightly. "It's uh, it's alright. I don't really want to show up uninvited, so –"

"They bring uninvited people all the time, so if I brought you along they'd be hypocrites!" Natalie said. Renee exhaled in what seemed to be a small laugh. Had she ever heard Renee laugh?

"You're persistent," Renee said. "Give me a minute to get dressed." Renee left tle room, and once she was out, Natalie happily clapped her hands together, bouncing a little. She sent Octavio a text, saying that she was bringing someone along.

The response was near instant:  **new girlfriend huh?** Then it was three kissing emojis, and one laugh-cry emoji.

Natalie quickly typed her response, fuming:  **No! My roommate!** Then she added a few angry cat emojis, because those were cuter than the actual angry faces, but she still wanted to express it was uncalled for. In response, he sent five laugh-cry emojis, and she decided to stop the conversation there.

After a few minutes, Renee walked out of the room, wearing dark jeans, combat boots, a clean white tank top, and the black bomber jacket. Her hair was tied up in a bun again, and Natalie smiled at her. They left the apartment, locked the door, and headed to Ajay and Octavio's place. Natalie led the way, and knocked on the door once they had arrived. Ajay greeted them.

"Ya must be Renee," Ajay said to the woman in question, as she let them inside. "Natalie talks 'bout ya sometimes."

"Does she?" Renee turned to Natalie.

"Not a whole lot," Octavio said, jumping from where he was on the couch. "Just how mysterious you are!"

Natalie felt her cheeks flush from embarrassment. Yes, it was true she had told her friends she knew little about her roommate, and she had used the word  _ mysterious _ … but she didn't need them telling Renee that! She glanced at Renee, who had a brow raised.

"Mysterious?" Renee questioned.

"And  _ intense _ !" Octavio piped up once more. Ajay smacked the back of his head, and he yelped. "Hey! I'm not lying!"

"Ya don't have to go blurtin' every detail she tells us!" Ajay pointed out.

Renee laughed a little. It was an actual laugh this time, too. Ajay and Octavio were busy bickering now, and Natalie tuned them out – after a while of living on their couch, she had gotten good at that.

"So, I'm mysterious and intense?" Renee asked Natalie.

"I mean, I just… don't know a lot about you, and you uh… you always have this…  _ grim _ expression, I suppose. I don't see you smile often."

Renee nodded. "Yeah, I get that a lot."

"I wasn't trying to be rude," Natalie murmured, awkwardly. "I uh, hope it didn't come across as rude. I just… Didn't know any other words to describe you, since I don't know you very well yet."

Renee raised a hand a little. "Trust me, it's alright, Natalie." There's a pause, and Renee looks away, lowering her hand. "I've been called worse."

That's not a good sign at all. Natalie nervously chewed on her lip, looking at Ajay and Octavio. "Did you two think of something?" she asked them. The two stopped their arguing, looking over at Natalie. They exchanged a glance, with Ajay looking a bit exasperated, then Octavio raised his arms, looking at Natalie again.

"Ajay said lunch or a movie to make it easy, but I thought that was super boring, so I thought we could go to the arcade, so I can kick your ass at DDR again!"

Natalie crossed her arms, pouting at him. "You always choose the difficult songs, it isn't very fair." Octavio laughed, walking over to Natalie and patting her back.

"See, the way I see it is, you're learning from the best. Yeah?"

"Ya just wanna stroke ya own ego," Ajay pointed out. Octavio stuck his tongue out at her.

"If we go to the arcade I want to play Pac-Man," Natalie grumbled, crossing her arms.

"We aren't gonna make ya do something ya don't wanna do." As Ajay spoke, she walked over and grabbed Octavio's ear. "Isn't that right, Silva?"

"Hey! Fine, fine. I'll just challenge  _ you _ to DDR, Ajay!"

"Ya don't stand a chance."

Renee remained awfully quiet through the conversation, Natalie noticed. She glanced over at the woman, whose brow was furrowed slightly. Natalie awkwardly shifted where she was, before asking, "You've been to an arcade before, yes?"

"I uh…" Renee paused a while, and it almost seemed like Renee was… confused. "It was probably a while ago, if I have," she said, finally. Natalie blinked. It was weird to think that someone wouldn't remember going to the arcade. In her teenage years she'd go often – sometimes alone, sometimes with friends – and play a  _ lot _ of Pac-Man.

"That's okay! It's a lot of fun," Natalie reassured her, a smile on her face. "There are all sorts of games. Just don't play DDR against either of those two." She gestured to Ajay and Octavio. Ajay laughed, and Octavio frowned, crossing his arms.

"You girls are just cowards," he decided. Ajay punched his arm, and Octavio yelped.


	3. Chapter 3

"You're pretty good at that game."

Natalie smiled at Renee as she stepped away from the arcade machine; she had just lost, and it was in that moment she realized she was a bit rusty. Renee had no way of knowing that in the past, Natalie was way, _way_ better.

"Ah, thank you!" she replied, happily. "I used to go to the arcade a lot, when I was in high school. I used to have a couple high scores here!" She paused, before shrugging and saying, somewhat sheepishly, "I don't anymore though."

Renee nodded a little. Natalie saw something distant in her expression. Something unreadable. Natalie started to get a little worried.

"Are you alright?" Natalie asked. Renee seemed to snap out of it then; she looked to Natalie, blinked, before turning away again.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm just… thinking, I guess." Renee didn't seem fine, but Natalie didn't want to pressure her. _Especially_ not in public, at the arcade of all places. The two started walking around, with Natalie showing Renee games; they avoided the DDR competition going on completely, but Natalie knew she was going to have to stop it soon before Octavio and Ajay decided to get more aggressive. They decided to play a two-player game, a wrestling game, at Renee's request. This game Natalie had never even touched.

"How do we play this?" Renee asked, looking at Natalie for an explanation as the blonde put some coins in the machine.

"I've never played," Natalie admitted, sheepish. "Mash buttons and see what they do! That's what you usually do when you start."

They selected a VS mode, and Natalie caught Renee's eye for a second. "Let's hope you aren't a sore loser," Renee commented.

"Is that trash talk I hear, Miss _Never-Been-To-An-Arcade_?" Natalie asked. Renee grinned, and Natalie smiled right back. The game started, and the two started mashing the buttons. It was shockingly effective for Natalie, but Natalie noted that Renee seemed a little confused. However, Renee was really into it, it seemed. Was she having fun?

"Shit," Renee hissed as Natalie's little wrestler pinned Renee's for the last time. Natalie grinned smugly.

"Are _you_ a sore loser?" Natalie asked. Renee laughed wholeheartedly, shaking her head and looking at her feet. Natalie's smile softened to be less smug; Renee had a nice laugh. It was good to see her enjoying herself like this, even if they didn't know each other very well.

"I knew that comment would bite me in the ass," Renee said, looking back up at Natalie. Natalie beamed at her, and she noted Renee's gaze softened as well. Renee cleared her throat and looked away.

"– you're _cheating_ somehow!"

"Explain to me how I can cheat at this game! I'm all ears, Silva!"

Natalie and Renee shared another laugh, and Natalie put her hands to her face. "Mon Dieu," she murmured, muffled into her hands. "It's every time."

  
  
  


The four went out to eat at one of Natalie's favorite places after their arcade binge. They were there until three thirty, when teens started showing up. Octavio managed to get Natalie to play DDR, and unsurprisingly she lost. She would've just shrugged it off, seeing as it's just an arcade game and she didn't like to cling to losses, but Octavio was… _incessant_.

"You make weird faces too, when you _know_ you're losing," Octavio commented. "Like your face scrunches up and stuff. Really funny."

Natalie put her forehead to the table. Octavio laughed a little, but it trailed off to sound nervous, almost. _Nervous_? Renee patted her back lightly.

"Hey, Nat, let me through, I need to use the bathroom." Natalie lifted her head and stood out of the booth, and Renee passed her. Natalie sat back down. As soon as Renee was out of earshot, Ajay started laughing.

"Wow, she's somethin', isn't she?" Ajay said, lightly punching Octavio's shoulder. "Silenced ya with just a look."

Octavio huffed. "I thought she was gonna reach across the table and strangle me."

"Huh?" Natalie was incredibly lost.

"You were right about her being intense!" Octavio said, looking over his shoulder. "Geez, I thought Anita was scary. I mean yeah, she totally is, but your new girlfriend is like… _probably a killer_ kind of scary."

Natalie glared at him. "She isn't my–"

Octavio threw his arms up, and quickly interrupted with, "See! When you glare at me, it's like a kitten or some shit!"

Natalie huffed. "She isn't my girlfriend," she repeated.

"Did I say girlfriend?"

"Yes," Natalie and Ajay said simultaneously. Octavio raised his hands in defeat.

"My bad. She seems protective like one though. I was only teasing you!"

"Ya were gettin' annoyin', though," Ajay pointed out. Octavio stuck his tongue out at her.

"I'm always annoying," Octavio replied. Around that time, Renee made her way back, and Natalie stood up to let her get back to her spot at the booth. The two sat back down, and Natalie tried to get comfortable again. The booth's seats weren't the greatest.

"Did I miss anything?" Renee asked.

"Not a lot," Ajay replied. "Just that Silva's annoyin'."

"Ah," Renee looked at Natalie, as if to confirm that as the truth. Natalie nodded, shrugging slightly.

"We decided he was," Natalie added. Octavio looked over at her, eyes wide with shock.

"You agree with that?!" he asked, voice loud. Natalie winced a little, bowing her head; she quickly shrugged it off with a laugh.

"I lost to you almost an hour ago, and you _just_ stopped teasing me. I think I have a right to find that annoying!" She laughed again, and added, "I don't always find you annoying, though."

"That's fair," Octavio replied. The waitress came over with their drinks – two waters for Ajay and Renee, and two sodas for Natalie and Octavio.

"Do you have your orders ready?" the waitress asked, a smile on her face.

"Oh, give us a minute," Octavio mumbled, looking through the menu for the first time since they sat down. "I was too busy clowning Natalie…"

Natalie smiled pleasantly, and politely told him, "Shut up."

The waitress walked away, and Natalie glanced over at Renee. She was staring down at her own menu, brow furrowed, mouthing the words ever so slightly. Natalie blinked when Renee looked up to meet her gaze. "You know what you want?" Renee asked her.

"Yes," Natalie said, happily, tapping the table. "We come here pretty often, and I get the same thing every time."

Renee lifted a brow. "There a reason you get the same thing?"

"It's very good," Natalie said, looking at her hands. It was hard to explain the reason. She saw Renee nod from the corner of her eye. "I'm sure all the food is good, though. Isn't it, Octavio?" The man, who had clearly not been paying attention to the two, nodded. Ajay shrugged a little at Natalie.

Renee continued scanning the menu. Natalie was halfway done with her drink when the waitress dropped by a second time, looking at the group expectantly. "Okay, I'm ready," Octavio said, cracking his knuckles. Renee nodded as well, setting her menu down.

  
  
  


About thirty minutes had passed since they had ordered, and Renee was pretty quiet. Natalie, Ajay, and Octavio spoke a lot, but Renee didn't talk unless spoken to, and it wasn't for long. She seemed out of it. Distant, almost. Natalie didn't want her to feel left out, so she decided to get a little bold.

"Hey Renee," she turned to her. "I don't actually know a whole lot about you." Renee, who had been staring out a window, turned to Natalie, looking a little surprised.

"Uh," Renee furrowed her brow a little. "What… exactly do you want to know?"

"We'll start simple," Natalie suggested. "Like where do you work?"

"I'm just a stocker right now. At a department store," Renee replied, not necessarily sounding happy about this fact. Natalie nodded a little.

"She's a stalker?" Octavio mumbled.

"Restocking, idiot," Ajay hissed. Octavio nodded.

"What about you?" Renee asked.

"I'm a paid engineering intern," Natalie replied, "and I'm a college student." Renee looked at the table a little, before looking at Ajay and Octavio.

"Nurse," Ajay said, before Renee could even ask.

"I don't work. Yet. I'm looking," Octavio said. "Nothing is good though."

"Sometimes ya just gotta suck it up and do it," Ajay told him. He crossed his arms and huffed.

Renee looked back to Natalie. "So is that all you needed to know?"

_Absolutely not!_ Natalie wanted to shout, but she instead asked, "Where are you from?" The answer, to a seemingly very simple question, she got from Renee actually surprised her; she didn't get one. Renee stared at Natalie, stone-faced, her eyes almost glazed over. Natalie saw Ajay and Octavio exchange a look from the corner of her eye.

"Arizona," Renee answered, almost as if she realized she had zoned out.

"Are you alright?" Natalie asked, voice gentle, "I'm sorry for bringing it up…"

"It's… fine," Renee looked away, back out the window. Natalie felt crushed, and stared at her hands in front of the table.

_Great job, Natalie_ , she chided herself, _not only did you upset Renee, who you want to know better, but now you have to go home with her, after doing that_. She felt awful. She'd make it up to Renee, somehow. The waitress returned with their food, and seemed to sense the unique tension that was at the table, that hadn't been there before. She looked over them all, brow raised.

"Enjoy," the woman said, and Natalie thanked her politely. All of them started to eat their food, the awkward silence still in the air. Natalie didn't want to start anymore talks, just in case she made things worse somehow. She occasionally glanced over at the woman, who was glaring down at her plate as she ate her burger.

Natalie hoped Renee wouldn't be too upset when they got home.

  
  
  


The door unlocked, and Renee pushed it open, switching a light on as they walked into the apartment. As the door shut behind them, Natalie yawned and stretched. Renee sighed softly, and moved to sit on the couch.

Natalie pursed her lips a little. On one hand, she wanted to retreat to her room and curl up in a ball under her covers. On the other hand… she wanted to help Renee.

Natalie sat beside her. "Hey," she murmured, and Renee looked up at her. "I hope you're alright."

"I'm fine, really," Renee grumbled, in a way that made Natalie think she actually wasn't okay. Renee shifted a little, and looked back down. "I just… I don't know. It's a long story, and I don't think I'm ready to share."

"And that's okay," Natalie said, smiling gently. "You don't have to unless you want to." She paused, looking down at her hands on her lap, before asking, "Did you have a good time today?"

"Yeah," Renee said, leaning back a little. "It was fun. I liked the games, and the food was really good." She smiled a little. "I might recommend the food to my friend."

"I'm glad you had fun!" Natalie said, excitedly putting her hands together. She looked at Renee closely, and she noted how… _Tired_ she looked. "… Renee?" she started, voice quiet as she lowered her hands to her lap once more.

"Hm?" Renee's smile fell, as if she knew what Natalie was about to ask. It made Natalie hesitate.

"Why um, why did you need to go to therapy?"

Renee stared at Natalie, and Natalie could almost see the internal battle she was having. Then, Renee turned away, sighing heavily, and said, "Schizophrenia."

That was a lot heavier than Natalie was expecting. She looked away from Renee, staring at her hands. "Oh," she murmured; she didn't really know what to say.

"Yeah," Renee replied, equally quiet. "It's been a rough few years, Nat."

Natalie leaned back into the couch, slumping slightly. "I'm sorry things are rough," she said, looking back to Renee, who was leaning forward a little. "I hope I'm not making you uncomfortable."

"It's alright. It's something you should know anyways. I… haven't really been open with you. And since we live together you should know stuff like that." Renee glanced back at Natalie, smiling weakly. "Plus I… think we're friends at this point. You _did_ just drag me out of the house to the arcade and dinner."

  
Natalie smiled back. Renee was right. They _were_ friends. Not necessarily _close_ friends, yet, but there was a level of trust there still. "Yeah, we are," she said to Renee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now okay so these chapters may start coming a little later. It's still in progress but I just found out I need to rewrite Ch 4 ! Sorry if I update later than usual!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late aaa! I'll try to get the next chapter up sooner!

Natalie walked into the apartment to Renee talking on the phone, in a seemingly heated conversation.

"No,  _ Elliot _ , I don't really want to hear about what happened last night on the Bachelor." Renee was standing in the middle of the room, back to the front door. There was a pause, and Renee sighed. "What part of  _ no _ did you not–  _ Elliot _ . My God, focus."

Natalie quietly shut the door, trying not to interrupt. She slowly made her way to the kitchen. There was a long period of silence before Renee continued. "I know you're wanting me to come, but you know how I feel about parties…"

As Renee continued to talk, Natalie started to look through the fridge for something to drink. Renee still hadn't noticed her, and was still talking on the phone with Elliot. She had heard of Elliot before, of course. It had been a few days since they had declared each other friends, and Renee had mentioned her other friend a couple times. He was apparently dumb and annoying, but with the fond smile Renee had given when she spoke about him, Natalie had a feeling she was only saying that with affection.

"I really don't think I should be inviting Natalie to parties… She has work and school." Natalie looked over just as Renee said that, holding a can of soda. "Elliot, come on. No–" Natalie made her presence known by opening the can, and Renee looked over. Natalie barely noticed a faint blush on Renee's pale cheeks. "Shut up, Elliot." Renee gave her a little wave with a free hand, and a curt smile, before turning her back to Natalie. "I have to go. Look, I'll ask. I'll think about it. Bye– Goodbye Elliot."

Natalie took a sip from her drink as Renee loudly sighed. "How long were you there?" Renee asked, walking over and rubbing her eyes.

"I came in when you said you didn't want to hear about the Bachelor."

"Awful show," Renee grumbled, and Natalie giggled. "… Anyways, yeah, he's throwing a party."

"Something tells me you don't like parties," Natalie said. Renee seemed to hesitate, opening her mouth, then closing it.

"I…" Renee started, before she sighed, softly. "I don't, but he wants me to go… I just don't really like going to them alone."

"But he invited you," Natalie pointed out. "You can just go with him, no?"

"He's hosting the party," Renee mumbled, rubbing the back of her neck, head tilted back. "I wouldn't really be spending time with him, he'd be busy entertaining. I don't really… do well with people, so I'd just be alone."

Natalie got that, completely. "Is there anyone else you can go with?"

"There's only two other people I know that I'd want to go to a party with, one of them is out of town, the other is you. And you're pretty busy so–"

"I can go," Natalie interjected. Renee looked a bit shocked at that. "If you're being invited, but don't want to go alone, I can make time for you," she added, a smile on her face.

Renee stammered a bit. "I mean, sure. Alright. Yeah… It's pretty short notice. As in it's, uh, later tonight. Is that okay…?"

Natalie had her day off tomorrow, so she could go tonight and be fine. "Yes," she said. "That works perfect."

"Okay. Cool, yeah. Cool." Renee moved over to the couch and sat down. Natalie watched her, tilting her head. She went over to sit beside Renee, who looked up at her. "Are you this nice to everyone, Nat?"

"Huh?"

"You're just… Really nice to me. And I don't get why. Is it just because you're genuine?"

Natalie stared at Renee, for a very long while, in silence. She scanned the woman's face, waiting for any further explanation. When there was none, she smiled, a little. "I'm nice until someone proves I shouldn't be."

Renee blinked, brow furrowed, before she looked away. "I see," she murmured. "I guess that makes sense."

"Mhm." She looked away from Renee, and took a long drink from her can. "But I'm extra nice to my friends."

"How many friends do you have?"

"Well, there's you, you know that. Then you also know Ajay and Octavio. There's Makoa, and Anita, kind of… Oh, and Marvin, of course. He's friends with everyone. Dr. Nox is kind to me, in his own way, but I don't know if he's a friend, per se…"

Renee nodded. "A lot of people," she summarized.

"A lot of people," Natalie agreed. "I'm not sure how. I never thought I was good with people."

Renee hummed softly. "You're something else, Natalie," she told her with a smile.

Natalie beamed at her, taking that statement as a positive thing.

  
  
  


The day passed uneventfully, and soon, Natalie found herself standing on the front porch of someone's house. She was about to knock, but Renee simply opened the door. Natalie blushed, and walked inside. The house didn't have a lot of people yet, so Natalie assumed Renee liked being early. Renee led her deeper into the house, and they were soon standing in the kitchen. A man stood there, talking to someone else – their face was obscured by a mask and glasses. Natalie wondered if they were sick, briefly. As the two entered, the other person began to walk out, and the man, who Natalie assumed was Elliot, looked at them.

"Renee! My favorite goth, how are you doing?" He put one arm around Renee's shoulders. "And who is this lovely lady with you?" He paused, and before Renee could actually answer, he said, "Oh, wait, Natalie! Right?"

"Yes," Natalie replied, extending a hand to shake. "It's nice to meet you," Elliot took her hand, giving a firm shake.

"I've heard so much about you. Like the fact you live with Renee and your name is Natalie. Oh, and today Renee mentioned you're in school.  _ Incredible _ ."

Renee huffed. "I'm not going to gossip about my roommate, Elliot."

Elliot put a hand over his chest, looking offended. "What? It isn't  _ gossip _ ! It's telling your good friend – your  _ best _ friend – about the person you're living with! It's a safety thing."

Renee rolled her eyes, and Natalie laughed a little bit. "How long have you two known each other?" Natalie asked.

"Oh, you know. A few months. Give or take."

"Oh?"

Renee sighed. "He was the first friendly face I met here."

Elliot grinned. "And who can resist a face like this, huh?"

Renee smirked. "Not Bloodhound, right?"

That made Elliot redden, and he stuttered. "I don't know what you mean. Let's stop talking about me."

"That's a first."

"Natalie, so. Tell me a bit about yourself." Elliot quickly directed his attention to the blonde, giggling at the antics of the pair. However, she didn't exactly know what he wanted to hear. There were a few things she could say.

"I'm studying to be an electrical engineer," she told him, and added, "I think the subject is to  _ diode _ for." Renee pinched the bridge of her nose, but Natalie saw her smiling. Elliot laughed, but Natalie had a feeling the joke went right over his head. Wasted. "I was struck by lightning once! I got a cool scar from it, too." She pointed at her cheek.

"Oh, that's cool!" Elliot exclaimed, pointing as well. "Is it just there though?"

"Oh, no, it goes all the way down my arm and chest, and a little farther down…"

"You mind if I see it all, sometime?" Elliot said with a wink, and Renee quickly elbowed his ribs, making him wheeze.

"Could you contain yourself for once…" Renee hissed.

It took Natalie a second to realize what he was saying. She held up her hands, shyly. "I'm um… I'm a lesbian."

"Oh! My bad. Sorry," Elliot held up his hands as well. He cleared his throat. "Anyways! I should go um. Mingle. With the guests. Let me go do that! Drinks are in the fridge." And at that he was gone. Renee laughed softly, leaning against the counter. Natalie rubbed the back of her neck, looking down at her feet.

"Awkward. He just can't contain himself," Renee commented.

" _ Awkward _ is right," Natalie mumbled, shifting from one foot to the other. "I don't usually say that to strangers… I'm just so bad at shutdowns! How do people do it? I always feel bad after."

"I usually say no and go on about my day," Renee murmured. She moved to the fridge and pulled out two water bottles, passing one to Natalie and heading back to her initial spot at the counter. "You don't have to feel bad for setting boundaries, you know. You aren't interested. That isn't your problem." Natalie moved to the spot beside Renee, crossing her arms and pouting as she leaned against the counter as well. "You're pouting because I'm right."

"I am."

Renee hummed, patting Natalie's shoulder. "Let's head to the living room and sit on the couch or something. I wanna secure a spot before more people come by."

  
  
  


They ended up outside in the backyard at some point, because Elliot had a  _ lot _ of people come by, and it was overwhelming for them both. There were a handful of people outside too, such as the masked person from earlier –  _ Bloodhound _ , apparently – and a couple sharing what Natalie  _ assumed _ was a cigarette. She and Renee were sitting in the grass; she was curled up a bit, while Renee had her legs down and apart, leaning back on her arms. It was cold outside, and Natalie was starting to shiver; she hadn't thought she'd need a jacket.

The music in the house was loud, enough for Natalie to hear it almost clearly. It was hard to focus. She curled up a bit more, eyes shut. "I'm sorry," Renee murmured, before she took off her bomber jacket and put it over Natalie's shoulders. "You aren't having a good time, huh?"

"I'm spending time with you, so it isn't a bad time."

"That doesn't answer my question, flatterer."

Natalie shifted, idly gripping the jacket closer to her. "I suppose I could be having a better time, honestly… I must seem like such a stick in the mud."

Renee scoffed. "I'm out here with you because I feel exactly the same. There's too many people in there. C'mon, how about we go home." Renee stood up, and extended her hand to Natalie, who took it and allowed herself to be pulled up. "Elliot will understand. At least I showed up, yeah?"

Natalie hummed, and they made their way back inside – the music was so loud, it was almost too much. Natalie covered her ears, and Renee led her along, through the people, and out the front door. They went to Renee's car, and as they got in, they simply sat there, for a couple moments. Natalie looked out the window at Elliot's house as Renee started the car and switched the heater on, which Natalie was grateful for.

"Actually… How about we get something to eat." Renee suggested, and Natalie looked over. "Just the drive thru. We'll bring it home."

"Alright," Natalie smiled at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also would like to say thank you so much for all the lovely comments people have left on this fic so far! It means the world to me to know so many people like it!


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